Strange and Lovely

Happy Thanksgiving! Today I was a guest blogger for my friend Emily. She's a local singer/songwriter and her musings and angst are beautifully expressed both in her songs and on her blog, huh? what? Check it out, along with the other blog guests this week. This is my post.

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As I write this, I am fighting the flu’s contributions of a headache, sore throat, and achiness. Yet I am thankful for my health. In many ways I am much healthier today than a year ago—the heartburn is not as frequent, my cholesterol is down, the migraines are pretty much gone, and even the asthma has improved. Most of this is due to a few radical lifestyle changes—1) becoming a vegetarian, and 2) quitting my corporate job. Neither of these I regret, even though I still say that Italian subs are my favorite food.

The health issue I’m focusing on right now encompasses all parts of my being—body, mind, soul, and spirit. This summer I have been alternately fighting and surrendering to depression. I can’t decide at times if this is the worst depression I’ve been through. I don’t think it is—I think I’m just taking more time with it this time around. And, I’m actually getting help. It’s an interesting process—digging down to the depths of my soul; peeling back layer by layer of my psyche. It’s a painful and sometimes a painfully slow process.

It is a strange thing to realize that the observation my sister made several years ago—when I thought she was making up issues for me—might actually be true. A few pieces of the puzzle fall together, leading me to more questions about myself—why I act the way I do, why I have this aching need for approval and praise. I am learning that the root of this goes back much deeper than I would have guessed. I know that I won’t be truly happy until I’m able to validate myself rather than looking to others for that validation. I have a giant heart and have long known that Love is the essential core of my being. I need now to make a little room in there for myself.

So, this Thanksgiving, I’m giving thanks for this strange and lovely ride called Life. I’m giving thanks for the struggles that point out things we’re ignoring. I’m giving thanks for the opportunities that open up when we take that next step forward in faith. Most of all, I’m giving thanks for all the people who have been a part of my journey. I have such a rich community and I am constantly awed by the connections discovered and the kindnesses I encounter. I don’t believe anyone is in our lives coincidentally. We each have something to learn from each other. So, today, dear reader, I’m giving thanks for you.

Hairball remedy

My cat Maggie has this affectation where she holds up her paw while she looks around. It stems from us trying to get her to take her hairball remedy--you know--the brown goo in a tube. She was the only of our three cats who didn't seem to like it, so I'd put a dab on her paw which would force her to lick it off. After a few times, though, she'd hop away with her paw held up close to her furry chest as if trying to keep it from me. Now she does that all the time, but especially when she's nervous or not sure of what's going on, it seems.

Looking at her today, I realize I do the same thing, on an emotional level. Faced with a difficult situation that I'd rather avoid, I feel cornered, and in my own way I'm Maggie with her paw held close, away from danger. I'm not sure how to change that, how to face it and 'take my medicine', but I suppose being aware is the first step. Then I can work on my reaction, and ultimately, on my fears.

The universe is still telling me to be gentle on myself. Sometimes, though, the message is jumbled up and overpowered by the other side of things; the negative side. It feels inconsistent, but perhaps I'm just not listening closely enough. Or maybe I'm just having a hard time trusting the message at times.

We Rise Together

This is my anthem for the day. "We Rise Together"

Today we are all casting our votes. No matter the outcome, we are a United States of America. It takes all of us to be that. It takes all of us to make America better. After today, let's take the energy we've shown, and put aside the anger and the fear and the mistrust of those with ideas different from our own, and each do our part, our unique contribution to affect Change in the world.

"...'Cause this country needs a change, for the better. If you believe we can make a difference...If you believe it takes all kinds of opinions to make freedom...If you believe that, would you say something with me: Rise..."

[It's easier to hear the lyrics in the music video.]

Flobots- "Rise"




So much pain we
Dont know how to be but angry
Feel infected like weve got gangrene
Please dont let anybody try to change me
Me
Just me
In the middle of a sea full of faces
Full of faces
Some laugh some salivate
Whats in your alleyway
Recycling bins or bullet cases
Its not equal
Its not fair
Were different people
But were not scared
We aint never scared
To pave a new path
Make a new street
Build a new bridge
Say can you see by the dawns early light
Free slaves running
Songs words werent right
Now a new days coming
The few stay stunning while the many are handsome
Your soul is alive but they want it for ransom
The base drumming is the anthem
We step to the heartbeats of our granddaughters and grandsons
And

Rise together we

Lost hope and found need
Grounded by our surroundings
Did the walls scream universities
Or you and i verse the tees
React automatic and we burst when squeezed
And make 9-11 each emergency
Urgency amber to red like the turning leaves
Oh please let the hurting cease
Don't let apathy police the populace
We will march across
Those stereotypes that were marked for us
The answers obvious
We switch the consonants
Change the sword to words and lift continents

If you believe in redemption
I'm calling to you from another dimension

Scents and Scentsibility

Hubby: I got your toothbrush when I stopped at the grocery store. (Starts handing it to me) What? It's scented!

Me: Scented? Why in the world would you need a scented toothbrush? Toothpaste is already scented!

Hubby: It has a scratch-n-sniff sticker on the box. (Sniffs) It's mint!

Me: What? (Sniffs also) It smells like toothpaste!?!



What in the %$&*ing world? This is what companies spend their time designing? I know I live in a cave, not watching TV and all, but geez louise! Evidently there's other scents for your toothbrush, like banana and vanilla-cherry. It's supposed to help remind you to replace it when the scent fades. Would that actually work, though? How long would you go before you think, 'Gosh, I can't smell the toothbrush underneath the toothpaste smell?'

I never gave much thought to the serious science of scented polymer resins, but it's all around us. You probably notice the scent on your trash bags, but did you know the technology is also used in lighting fixtures, cell phone clips, and food packaging? Coming soon: scented iPods (Christmas 2008) and SCENTED TEXT MESSAGES!!! I suppose it's good to know that somebody's doing well in this economy, even if it's off of something as ridiculous as scented toothbrushes!

But is all of this really needed, or desired, at a time when we are learning even more about the negative effects of chemicals on our health? Would these scented polymers add to the problem or not? And a more aesthetic concern--does it reduce our quality of life somewhat to be bombarded by so many cheap imitations of a true scents-ational experience?