On sweat and stubbornness, horses and ponies.

I thought that last Saturday I had experienced the ultimate in sweating. Not rivulets of sweat, mind you, but a deluge of sweat. Saturday was my last day at the strawberry farm and the forecast predicted100 degree temperatures by 1pm (not counting the heat index). I was at work from 8:45 to 1:30, and although I had some shade I could retreat to, was in direct sun for much of the time. Within 30 minutes I had a sheen of sweat covering all exposed parts of my body. The sweat mark on my shirt grew steadily throughout the morning, until only a few portions on the side could be considered dry. The heat, and my general despondency on it being the last day, did affect my spirits more than usual.

After work I took a quick shower, then proceeded to another outdoor event--our baby cousin's 3rd birthday party. I had been volunteered to assist with the PONY RIDES. I cannot tell you how tickled I was. This was actually my dream birthday party, only 20 or 25 years too late. I walked Merrylegs back and forth with the little kids riding atop. That was about 2 more hours of sweating, mostly in the shade, but still IT WAS 100 DEGREES outside. I have never enjoyed a 3 year old's birthday party more. By the end of the afternoon I had an open invitation to Pony Patch Farm in Culpepper to ride, brush, or just hang out with the horse and ponies, along with the promise of gift certificates to bring my young friends for pony rides (lucky tykes).

After that I took another shower, as I was going to a friend's house for a movie ("Antonia's Line"--wonderful!) and then out for drinks with my husband and his friend Katie, who had just landed a new job. It got pretty warm in the Bourbon Room, but nothing like what I'd experienced that day. I was still drinking water constantly--I had a really great bartender and he kept refilling my cup. By 12:30 am my main concern was getting home in time to pee, since Katie and I had braved the bathroom once and didn't want to have a second go. (For all those who are worried, I made it.)

Although the weather maintained its stifling status over the past few days, I was mostly indoors, or just walking about downtown, so the heat barely bothered me. I say 'barely' but what I mean to say is that I certainly noticed it, but wasn't wilting in my normal fashion. I'm normally a wilting flower in the heat. Evidently I have thin blood vessels, so not only is it difficult for the Red Cross to get any blood out of me when I attempt to donate (I've not been brave enough after the one time, since taking that half pint drained me of energy the whole evening!), but I also get cold and hot easily. Steven can testify how I complain when the heat gets to me--we usually play thermostat wars. This must be the first year I've set the thermostat anywhere over 72 during the heat. Yesterday I pushed it up to 84 and felt that was 'reasonable' considering the outside temperature. My cats hate me.

So, I didn't think too much of the heat when I volunteered to work at the barn, mucking stalls, in lieu of paying for riding lessons. Forget that I usually don't take lessons during the summer because of the whole wilting flower issue. I felt I had been conditioned enough, and last Friday's lesson (in balmy upper 70's, low 80's temperatures) went so well that I couldn't see waiting another month for another. And, since I don't have another job lined up, working would ease my conscience and get me out of the house 3 days a week.

It's been a decade since I've mucked stalls, and 13 years since I did so with any regularity. I used to water and muck at the college stables for my work study job. I was always jealous of the people who had easy jobs and could do their homework while on the clock, but I wouldn't have traded it. I loved horses too much. Back then I had about 2 1/2 hours to work before I needed to get back to my dorm, shower, nap, and then go to class. The nap was essential or I would fall asleep in class every single time. I'm not the fastest at mucking stalls, but I do a good job. I have Della to thank for that. She taught me how, and she's one meticulous, dedicated horse woman.

Cowboy in his stall.

So I arrived at Blue Ribbon Stables this morning at 8am ready to go. I hadn't wanted to get there too early because I wanted to get John's input on the setup and horses, etc. John wasn't around, so I got started with Cowboy, who I know from my lessons. I was a little intimidated--I had 15 stalls to take care of. Supposedly this was only going to take me a couple of hours. I had my doubts, but I plowed ahead. It certainly would take me longer than that the Della way. Remember what I told you earlier about last Saturday's adventures in sweating? Today I was completely drenched in sweat within 30 minutes. Even my jean shorts were getting visibly wet; by the time I left there were only a few dry inches on them. There ought to be a word for this kind of sweating; 'sweat' doesn't cover it and 'perspire' certainly doesn't come close. 'Lather' may be closer, but not by much. (Yes, mom, I was taking frequent water breaks!)

To complicate matters, they are currently bringing in fill dirt to raise the level of the pastures. So lines of dump trucks are coming in, all morning long, bringing tons and tons of dirt. They are driving directly beside the barn, between me and the manure pile. They are leaving huge tracks of mud between me and the manure pile. Occasionally a bobcat would come through and level out the road, but I had a difficult time maneuvering full wheelbarrows of horse manure through those ruts between the barn and the manure pile. Plus I had to time my trips between the trucks. I ended up using both wheelbarrows; filling them up when the trucks were busy and dumping them when the way was clear. All in all it was taking me 20 minutes on average to do each stall, start to finish. Not too bad, I thought, considering I'm out of shape and out of practice.

I got done with the 11 stalls in the main barn. It looked pretty, and I had made many new horsey friends. By this point, I could taste the salt in my sweat and so could the horses. They began to sniff and lick me more than usual. There were 4 stalls left. My muscles were starting to complain, particularly this one knot on my shoulder. But I'd done 11 stalls, certainly 4 more wouldn't be too bad, right? Sure, Heather, great idea. I got to stall #12 and found a beautiful Clydesdale. I fell in love with him immediately. Meeting him may have been worth doing another stall. I love that horse; I want that horse. (I actually do want a pair of draft horses someday.) He was big and very interested in the hay that had fallen outside his stall, so I brought the wheelbarrow all the way in the stall to clean it (I knew I couldn't push him around as easily as the others). I should have stopped there, though. Stall #13 was Nikko, this cute but pain-in-the-butt Haflinger. He was really interested in the hay, as well as chewing on the wheelbarrow and my rake. Nikko has an extra closure on his stall, and I found out why. Any energy I had left, Nikko sucked it right out of me. I knew once I got his sawdust that I was done. Done, done, done.

When I drove home, at 1:30, the radio said it was 101 degrees outside. So, you ask, what possessed me to muck stalls in 100 degree temperatures? I'm 99% positive that it was stubbornness and pride. I wanted to prove to myself that I could finish the job. I wanted to prove I have what it takes to work a hard job. I'm a smart girl--my common sense told me several times that I should probably stop, but I was too stubborn. In the back of my mind is my father's voice, telling me I don't have what it takes to do something like this, like being a farmer. I think part of myself has always believed that, and often succumbed to it. But there's a part of me that wants to prove him wrong.

My lesson here? To have a bit more compassion on myself. Sure, I can work hard. 13 stalls is nothing to laugh about; I know very few of my friends would put up with mucking one. I don't have to prove my capabilities overnight--I should allow myself time to get used to this and any other task I set for myself. I should listen to my inner voice--the one today offering up the obvious common sense that it was way too hot for this kind of work. Finally, I'm showing up at 6am on Thursday for attempt #2.