Who has time to work?

This has been a crazy week for me, although it started out simply enough. Working at the barn (Thursday all 15 stalls got done although I was pretty spent), my community circle (small group from church) where we all got to catch up with each other for the last time before summer, some unintended shopping in old town for used books and a new necklace (it called my name, I swear), CSA distribution which resulted in some great conversations and networking, viewing "Tibet: Cry of the Snow Lion" with my meditation group (that left me emotionally drained), a riding lesson made memorable when one of the dump trucks blew a tire and my horse jumped sideways about 3 feet (but thankfully didn't bolt), leadership conference at church Friday night and all day Saturday (as I am a newly elected member of the board of trustees), pizza at Basil's Bistro with friends, going out to see "Prince Caspian" (awesome!), getting the car worked on and reading over half of Prince Caspian during those 2 hours (since I couldn't remember how closely the movie followed the book).

At one point during the week--perhaps when planning with a friend to do some painting together--I began to wonder "Who has time to work?" My job always seemed to suck the creative energy out of me. Now that I'm vocationally challenged (i.e. haven't started looking for a new job in earnest), I'm filling my time with a lot of the things I always said I wanted to. Don't get too jealous--an hour spent paying bills and balancing the checkbook quickly renewed my guilt over not having a paying gig. I'm still hoping to squeeze that week at the beach in before I'm locked down again. Hey--10 years is too long to go without gazing at the ocean sunrise and immersing in her salty depths.

Me and my sister in our younger years.

Now, all this by itself would have made for a good week. But, as some of you already know, these events were quickly overshadowed with weightier concerns. My sister was sent to the hospital Tuesday evening when the doctors figured out that her shortness of breath and leg pain was due to blood clots in her leg and lungs. She is still in the hospital, and tomorrow is having surgery on a rather large clot in her leg. Meanwhile, my husband traveled out of state with his mom to attend his grandmother's estate sale--a very emotional event for both of them. Emotional and physical stress can build when you're not looking and cause you to crash when you're least expecting it. This literally manifested when I rear-ended someone on my way home from the barn on Friday. I was definitely not abiding in the present moment.

I left for Carolina to be with my sister today, and made the trip in record time. I feel very lucky, right now, to not have a job calling me home in a few days. I will be able to be here with my niece and see my sister through the next week without that outside pressure. I am also hoping to reacquaint myself with the Queen City, which captured a deep part of my heart in spite of my reluctance during the few years I lived here.

Charlotte sunset in '99.