This may be one of the strangest Christmases I have spent, in terms of breaking the traditional, expected mold of activity. Of course, after saying that I realize that my Christmases have become less traditional and more interrupted as the past few years have gone by. Some of this was by choice, but most of it from circumstance.
This Christmas Eve, on the way back from the hospital, I stopped by the church I attended when I lived in Charlotte, NC to catch the Candlelight service. It was a place where I had found a loving community, and even if my friends weren't there this night, I needed to capture part of that familiarity. I had to laugh when the pastor talked about people going to church on Christmas Eve to capture that “Christmas-y feeling,” since that was exactly why I was there. It was perhaps the only part of my Christmas that would be comfortably and predictably traditional. The swarm of shopping, tree-trimming, cookie-baking, and caroling has gone on with almost no notice from me, other than the occasional wistful glance.
The pastor went on to talk about how some people would already be thinking about getting to the "real" part of Christmas—opening presents and eating the holiday meal. For my family, I knew these would be the parts of Christmas that would be abbreviated at best, perhaps even bittersweet. This year I was 400 miles away from both home and my husband, and my sister and nephew would be stuck at the hospital rather than be able to spend the day with me, her daughter, and our parents (also in from out of state). While I love to give presents to my loved ones, we've tried to scale back on the excess in recent years. But this year, even the thought of splurging on gifts was not an option. And it turned out that I had little to no time to plan or even shop for holiday fixin's, so I dispatched my parents at the last minute to pick up a few things before the grocery stores closed on Christmas Eve.
The pastor’s final message for us on Christmas Eve was about Emmanuel—“God with us,” a baby’s birth bringing hope to mankind. Never before has my Christmas been so centered around a baby’s birth as this year, making the message especially poignant. Just over a week prior I had the privilege of witnessing the birth of my nephew, cutting his umbilical cord, and watching him take his first peek at his mother. After my sister was released, there were still daily trips from her home in SC to the hospital in uptown Charlotte since the little one was scheduled for heart surgery a week before Christmas. It still amazes me the miracles doctors can perform, especially on the tiny, delicate frame of a newborn child. He is recovering well, and on Christmas Eve moved to a transition unit where his mother stays with him 24 hours a day. They will be there for another week or so.
The innocence of that child is a wonder to behold. He reacts to the world, crying only from hunger, pain, or discomfort, not encumbered by the false expectations and fears of the adults around him. He knows and is calmed by his mother’s voice, and watches her with eyes transfixed. He is Emmanuel, as we each are, holding inside the promise of the Christ child. He evokes in us the highest emotion—that of a pure and all-encompassing Love. What a gift indeed if we too, could become like the little children we used to be--trusting, curious, loving, imaginative, and free. If we could only approach each other without suspicion and without guile; if we could only love each other without reservation. When we all look at the world through the lens of that Love, then we will truly find God with us.
See, all heaven has come to proclaim it. Hear how their song of joy arises:
Love! Love! Born unto you, a Savior! Love! Love! Glory to God on high!
Love is born! Come share in the wonder. Love is God now asleep in the hay.
See the glow in the eyes of His mother. What is the name her heart is saying?
Love! Love! Love is the name she whispers. Love! Love! Jesus, Immanuel.
Love has come--He never will leave us! Love is life everlasting and free.
Love is Jesus within and among us. Love is the peace our hearts are seeking.
Love! Love! Love is the gift of Christmas. Love! Love! Praise to You, God on high!
3 comments:
Beautiful message and beautifully communicated. Thank you.
Hey you! don't know if you're checking your blog or not recently - but just wanted to say you write beautifully! I hope I'm not one of those friends who are ignoring you :) and we truly miss you at the fellowship :) We should talk some time about this stuff - I have lots to share and an ear to listen! Also, wanted to comment that I saw Eat, Pray, Love on your Shelfari and I just finished the audiobook myself - awesome and inspiring!
Thanks, Christine! No, you're not one of the people I was complaining about... and anyway I have to keep reminding myself of the Four Agreements-- not to take things so personally. Everyone is wrapped up in their stuff and not 'ignoring' me, just in a different place. I am so very thankful for all my friends who have been here for me, including you. :) I'd love to chat sometime, or at least listen until I get my voice back!
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