Grace

In the midst of life, we find ourselves. Every choice we make takes us closer or further from our highest good. So, hopefully we approach each decision with the proper reverence. Even the hardest decisions, that seem to tear us apart, can bring joy and happiness in the end; sometimes even sooner than expected.

The time for me to write again has come. The time has come to create. To weave into existence transmutations of the beauty I see and experience. Beauty in love and in pain. Beauty in adversity and in success. Beauty in the everday and the ordinary. Beauty is all around me. Beauty is unavoidable.

To the Universe: Thank you for the omnipresent Grace you have showered upon me during the past few years, and that you continue to rain upon me; kisses from Heaven.



grace   /greɪs/ noun, verb, graced, grac·ing.
–noun
1. elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.
2. a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.
3. favor or good will.
4. a manifestation of favor, esp. by a superior.
5. mercy; clemency; pardon: an act of grace.
6. favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity.
7. an allowance of time after a debt or bill has become payable granted to the debtor before suit can be brought against him or her or a penalty applied.
8. Theology:
a. the freely given, unmerited favor and love of god.
b. the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.
c. a virtue or excellence of divine origin: the Christian graces.
d. Also called state of grace. the condition of being in God's favor or one of the elect.
9. moral strength: the grace to perform a duty.
10. a short prayer before or after a meal, in which a blessing is asked and thanks are given.
11. ( usually initial capital letter ) a formal title used in addressing or mentioning a duke, duchess, or archbishop, and formerly also a sovereign (usually prec. by your, his, etc.).
12. Graces, Classical Mythology . the goddesses of beauty, daughters of Zeus and Eurynome, worshiped in Greece as the Charities and in Rome as the Gratiae.
13. Music . grace note.
–verb (used with object)
14. to lend or add grace to; adorn: Many fine paintings graced the rooms of the house.
15. to favor or honor: to grace an occasion with one's presence.

Trilogy: 3. Valediction

[These are three writings from my senior year in high school. They are still so relevant in my life today, and I thought my readers would like to see them also.]


III. Valediction

Fellow classmates, friends, parents, and teachers: I am proud to be standing here before you today as valedictorian of the graduating class of 1994 of Northwest Guilford High School. This has been my goal since the eighth grade, and only by years of hard work, perseverance, planning, sacrifice, and constant struggling was I able to reach my goal. The path to making one's dreams come true is never easy, but only those who try their best and never quit are able to be called truly successful in life.

Class of 1994, we stand now at a critical place in history. It is our generation which will shape the world that is now entering a new millennium. Each of you must be willing to work to make the world a better place for all of mankind, and for all of God's creation. Are each of you ready to accept that challenge today?

Everyone here today has something to offer the world. God has equipped each of you with special gifts that, if you choose to make the most of, will help you to find your niche in the world, and will assure you success. Your success cannot be measured by others and does not have to mean that you must have a high-paying job and many possessions. Rather you must measure your own success by the happiness and fulfillment that you get not only from your job, but from your lifestyle. There are several things that I have found important to remember while seeking success, many of which I learned the hard way.

*ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. Realize that your dreams will be different from everyone else's here today, because we each have different interests, ideals, talents, and ambitions. Find a way to strive towards your personal goals in each step that you take in the journey of life. But remember that one person cannot do everything. Pick a few things that you want to change in the world, and concentrate on those.

*NEVER FEAR, AND NEVER QUIT. Your dreams will not come true by themselves, and the longer you wait, the more uncertain your success becomes. Arm yourself with knowledge of what you face, a plan of what you will do, excitement to see you through, and a belief that you can do anything you put your mind to. Don't stop in the middle and wonder if you will make it, for that lets in fear, which will be a stumbling block in your path. If you fall short of a goal, you have only yourself to blame.

*CREATE A BALANCED LIFE FOR YOURSELF. If you spend all your energy on one thing, you will become burnt out and will neglect other parts of your being. Make time for everything that is important to you, including family, friends, and hobbies.

*TURN FAILURE INTO SUCCESS. Acknowledge that no one is perfect, and that sometimes you will make mistakes. Think of your mistakes as learning experiences, then accept the past and move on. Only those who never try make no mistakes.

* SHARE YOUR PAIN. Life is never easy, and everyone has their share of heartaches. Do not try to bear the weight of all your problems by yourself. If you find yourself down and depressed, share your feelings with a supportive friend. Often knowing that someone is there on your side is enough to give you strength to carry on.

*RESPECT OTHERS. Being the best at something does not mean that you are any better than anyone else. Remember that everyone has worth, as well as their share of problems that they must deal with. Give people second, third, and fourth chances and forgive petty slights. Treat others with respect and they will respect you.

*BE A FRIEND. A friend is someone who accepts you as you are but helps you become a better person. A friend is someone who never lets you quit. A friend is someone who helps you through life's problems. When you sense that someone is having a tough time, offer your support but don't push for details. When they are ready to talk, they will come to you. Be ready to listen. Remember that you can never truly understand another's pain. Offer advice if asked, but do not be offended if it is not taken.

*BE A SMILER. Show others that you are happy to see them with a warm, genuine, smile. A smile is a simple gift that can often be the day-brightener someone desperately needs.

*BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. Do not deny others the chance to get to know what a neat person you really are. Be creative without being self-conscious. Do not agree with someone's opinion just because you are trying to impress them. Others will see you as a secure individual and will naturally follow your lead.

*LIVE YOUR LIFE IN ACCORDANCE TO YOUR VALUES. Be honest in any relationship. Stand up for what you believe in, and speak out when justice is not served.

*ABOVE ALL, THINK FOR YOURSELF. Only you can live your life, and only you care about your dreams. Listen to others' advice, but decide what is right for you. Question society's attitudes if you feel that they are faulty, and do something to change them. One voice is all that is needed to revolutionize the world. If you find yourself sitting on the sidelines and waiting for someone else to speak out, you are wasting the precious time that God has given you here on earth. Remember, as you begin your journey in life, that you are no better than anyone else, but that there is no one better than you.

The world starts now. Congratulations and God bless every one of you.

Thank you.

Trilogy: 2. The Victory

[These are three writings from my senior year in high school. They are still so relevant in my life today, and I thought my readers would like to see them also.]


II. The Victory

Do you see the glory on my face?
Can you tell I'm free?
Have you noticed the rusted chains
That have fallen down from me!?

I am free! I am free!
My life as a senior
Which had grown its vines
of doubt and fear around me
Has finally been declared
a Glorious victory.

By blindly slashing the undergrowth
I have made it thus far,
But when I opened my eyes,
when the end was near
I became frightened by what I saw:
Thorny bushes and snaring moss
threatened to choke me;
Snakes slithering from far-off places
threatened to kill me.

I saw the light through the
closely-meshed branches:
The end was in sight.
But before the light loomed
the obstacles, and they began to haunt me.

I realized how exhausted I was.
How utterly and thoroughly tired I was.
Both body and soul cried out in pain.
I looked down — my blade was dull;
I looked behind me — I could no longer see
the trail I had blazed —
I only noticed a glimpse of wildflowers
That I had neglected on the way.
I looked around me — I was alone
And I cried out — for the missed beauty,
for the cuts and bruises now exhibited all over my soul,
for the jungle still ahead —
for the pain.

And I stopped
a weary traveler wanting some sleep
Wanting to drift on the tide
Instead of working any more.

But the thought of drifting on forever,
with nary a dream in sight,
exhausted me too, for I realized —
it takes energy to stay afloat.

And I sat there — the vines growing around
me like chains — tangling me farther
because of my hesitation and inaction.
Sometimes I would try to break free —
But my fatigued limbs were slow,
My sword dull, and I lost hope.
Many times I tried to break free;
Many times I thought I wouldn't care
If I just sat there,
But somehow I knew I could not do this.

Oh the pain! Oh the anguish!
If you only knew
The fire in my spirit was fighting its death.

Then I stopped,
tired of the struggle
I lay down and went to sleep.
I slept for a week,
ignoring the problems looming around and ahead of me.

I slept — fitfully at first,and then eased into a coma-like slumber
Dead to the world.

A sound awoke me —
A sound from my past.
Muted by time,
it was almost unheard.
But it awoke the very soul of my being
The part that said — "This is you,
This is your destiny"
And I knew I could be strong again.

And when I opened my eyes I saw
another way out — one that had
been there all along.
For, as I lay on the ground,
I was looking at the sky.

I laughed a little to myself,
as I unloaded my burdens
and set down my sword. I reached up
I took hold of an overhanging branch,
and I pulled myself up.

From here I could see the end!
From here I could say
I have not been beaten!
Sitting in that tree, I contemplated
for a while and realized
that balance is very important,
something I would have to learn
To survive this life.

I pulled up my sword, and found
it had been sharpened somewhat;
I smiled as I realized it had never been dull.

Right now, as I hack my way
through the obstacles in my way,
there are some I must step over.
I cannot concentrate wholly
on the vines,
for I have been picking a lot
more flowers lately.
And I am standing up straighter
now, too
so that the light shines on my face
and sparkles in my eyes.

I am still hacking away,
but I am at peace;
I am free!

Trilogy: 1. The Pain

[These are three writings from my senior year in high school. They are still so relevant in my life today, and I thought my readers would like to see them also.]



I. The Pain

I am dead
I do not want to sing a song
I do not want to yell and scream
But if anyone bugs me, I will

Go away
leave me alone
You don't really care anyway.
I can tell

The few things that delight
Me right now
Take too much energy
Please don't make me think

I want to curl up in a fetal position
And sleep for a week
And then do nothing for two days
And then slowly work my way
back up to reality

Hopefully then I'll be alive
Hopefully then I'll know all the answers
Hopefully then I'll care.

I am oppressed by an overwhelming fatigue.
It hurts to think
My mind rebels at orders of any kind
I want to do what I want to do
I want to be myself.

Who am I?
I used to know
But now I'm not sure
I want to be on my own
But I don't have the means.
That depresses me.
I feel trapped.

Go away.
You're bugging me.
I don't want to listen to you.
I want to sleep.

Don't make me think.
Why are you making me think
This is stupid.
This is boring
This has no purpose that I can see.

Why does no one believe me?
Have fun
It's not worth it
Believe me —
I know.

Will I ever care again?
Will I ever have the excitement that comes
with understanding?
Will it ever matter again?

When will I be happy?
When will I be free?
When will anyone understand
what is happening to me?

When will I know?
or will I ever
I have gone on too long like this
I am confused.

If I do A, will I enjoy it?
Will I feel that it is worth
it in the end?
Will I be happy?

If I do B, will I ever get anywhere?
Will I be able to afford
what I want and
what I need?
Will I find the answers?
Will I find peace?

If money didn't matter
I know what I would do
I would take a year and travel
and experience life, too.

I would learn to hike the mountains.
I would learn to sail the sky.
I would practice at my painting
and I would camp out in the stars.

I would try my hand at farming
and I would try to see
what Amish folks find
fulfilling in the simple
life they lead.

I would read a lot about
constructing an eco-house
and I would live in step
with nature.
I would somehow find my niche.

Then I would devote my time
To doing what I saw fit.
To keeping up a tidy home
And helping others somehow, too.

But somehow even then, it seems
as if I'm missing something
It's the people
It's the college life
It's the uphill struggle

It's the pleasure of knowing
that I can do it on my own
That I have something others don't
That I can be an important part of
some business or corporation
That I can make a lot of money.

So surely I want to go to college
And get a big degree
And get a job I like a lot
But what could it be?

I do not want the rat race
or the pressure or the bother
I do want to enjoy my life
But will I find enjoyment in
learning?

Who am I?
Where am I in my life?
Why was I the one chosen
to go through all this strife?